Somehow, I neglected him

Ever since BabyY came into our lives, zy has been behaving in a way that makes me frown. First, he would not stop screaming from the moment he is back from school. Then he started throwing all sorts of tantrums that really made me mad. And he stopped listening to me and all his affections to me.

It was only yesterday that I began to accept the fact. The fact that somehow, I have neglected him all these while.

Even though I tried my best to read to him after BabyY sleeps at night, it did not really help. Since in zy's eyes, I'm always carrying and feeding his baby sister. And I no longer bring him to the playground or fetch him from school like what I always do even when I was heavily pregnant. And we even stopped going to the supermarket (our favourite past time) or weekend breakfast together as a family.

But I never stopped loving to him.

It breaks my heart to see his sad face. I don't want him to be sad.

Another two more weeks to the end of my confinement. How I wish time will pass faster.

p/s: BabyY's jaundice is up again. I'm worried.

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vivi said...

sometimes love is hard to manage. even if it is manageable, either party will feel different.

Wynn, in no time, zy and Y will know this :) so cheer up k

leooh said...

hugs for you first!
it's a period of adjustment for zy too, don't beat yourself up over neglecting him. take care of yourself, you'll need to recover fully first before you have enough energy for both of them. one way I managed was to let someone else hold baby when my elder come back from childcare, so that I can give her a big smile and a big hug so she'll feel special too.try?